And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
This whole losing weight thing sucks when you actually have to work at it.
There are so many shirtless buff hunks of delicious man meat hockey players on this show. I could get used to this. But then I get sad thinking I can’t lick nutella off their chests/biceps.
I’m actually celebrating Father’s Day tomorrow. Taking my daddy out to dinner.
I’ve spent too many years mad at him, and he’s trying so hard now. He tells us he loves us, wants to see us, spend with us.
He actually said to my mom the other day that we are good kids because of her, if it wasn’t for her we wouldn’t be the great people we are. And he wants to apologize to her. Wow.